My burning question is about whether or not I want to stay in teaching, and if I do, how can I change my environment to be more comfortable and more in line with who I am. I know that I have a lot of strong feelings both positive and negative about institutions. It seems a daunting task to try to teach young people who are going through the motions of a system that is not really built to meet their needs. I am not a teacher who loves loves loves kids. I don't overly praise them when they do something they should be doing. I am the kind of teacher who gets to know students and tries to get them to push themselves with my support. Is it bad that I don't love it? What would make me love my job? I would love a classroom were I was truly a facilitator with busy, interested, focused students, and where I was there to help them excel in the places that they needed and that would help them achieve their own goals.
Even though I have a really good school district, I can't see this happening within the structure of the school. The reading yesterday, Historical Considerations of Literacy, made me see where my school community and I do not do all that we can to help our population of students grow. We get so bogged down in the lack of skills that many have as well as other outside problems that we rarely try to get students to get beyond simple skills.
What I have come to realize is that I already have created a very different space in my classroom, one that is open to change and open for self-expression for all students as well as myself. Writing to know will be a useful tool for me to get kids to connect with writing, connect with what they know, and connect with what they are learning about. It is very exciting and I look forward to seeing how it goes.
At the same time I will be looking at what types of things I could see myself doing if I were to work outside of a school district. Being a part of a community where ideas and new ways of thinking are stressed is very important to me. I need to take some time and get more familiar with computer software, hardware, and navigating around the web. There are many skills teachers develop that translate well into other jobs and there are many jobs available to educators that are still within the realm of teaching, such as consultant work, sales, marketing, and research development for businesses that create software, texts, or other types of materials for schools.
For now, I am excited about implementing the things that I have learned in the Summer Institute, but will be imagining and working toward a new future.
A virtual classroom to extend the thinking and learning from our 2013 Summer Institute.
I have known many burnt-out teachers, and you don't seem burnt-out to me. You are still engaged, you still care, and you want to do good for your kids. But you do sound discouraged. I know that you love education and have great experience in this field. Maybe you should make some lists to help you, writing about what your strengths are and what your dream working environment is. I'm sure you know about manifesting, and maybe this dreaming/envisioning is the start of manifesting a change.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like there are many factors into your decision process and you should give yourself credit for recognizing them. So many unsatisfied teachers are incapable of doing so or of wanting to change. I wish I had some words of advice, but I can only offer encouragement. I'm glad you are here and going through this process. Hopefully it will answer some of those questions.
ReplyDeleteMore kids should have a chance to experience teachers who think like you do. I hope that working through your burning question can start to unlock some things for you. I wonder how much of the stuck feeling could be helped with a change in setting.
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